How to Save a Life
by mave88
Summary: Bella and Edward have been friends for 10 years. One faithful night an accident takes Edward's life when he's on his way to see her. A story about things left unsaid and coming to terms with true feelings and harsh realities. All human.
1. The End of the Beginning

**A/N: I thought this story through a few years back but never got down to writing it. It popped back to my mind a few days ago and I knew I needed to finally bring it to life to be read.**

**I'm not bailing on 180º, I just haven't written anything in a while and thought I had to take advantage of my sudden inspiration to get back on track. And like I said, it will be updated in January. :)**

**This story comes with a soundtrack, music that brings images to my head and helps me write this story. First one up is the one in the title, How to Save a Life by The Fray.**

**See you on the other side!**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer own all of Twilight. Sadly, that includes Edward *sigh*.**

"Morning, sleepyhead!"

"Edward, it's 2 am."

I had woken up to the sound of the phone ringing, ignoring it at first in the hopes that it would stop and I could go back to my much needed rest. No such thing happened. I chanced a look at the alarm clock before taking my arm from under the covers to pick it up. My hello was barely audible in my groggy state, but the charming voice on the other end didn't seem to mind either way. I cringed at the loud excitement not suitable for this time at night on a week day and complained in a sleepy voice.

"It's time to wake up somewhere in the world," he replied very cheerfully causing a light smile to appear on my lips. He had that effect on me, always being able to put me in a good mood.

"But that somewhere in the world is not Boston. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, perfect, actually. I'm coming over," I could sense he was smiling too.

"Over where?" I said, confused.

I heard a chuckle at the end of the line. "Over to you. I should be there in a few hours."

"Not that I'm not pleased to have you visit, but why the sudden urge to drive up here in the middle of the night?"

"I need to talk to you about something. I need to see you." He sounded urgent and excited.

"And it couldn't wait till morning?" I smiled once again at his eagerness.

He had always been like this, not thinking too much about the proper time or place, just being spontaneous and going after what he wanted. That's how he got his job in New York, he decided he needed to move there to get it and showed up, bags in his hands, right at the theatre company he wanted to work for, and told them he was their new piano player. They were shocked by his confidence, and after hearing him play there was no doubt in their minds he was the person they needed, even though they weren't hiring at the moment.

"Well, it kind of has to as I won't make it there before the sun rises, but I wanted to give you fair warning. See you soon, Bella. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, Edward." With that I hang up and settled back to sleep with a smile in my face. I hadn't seen Edward in a couple of months and I missed him. He was my best friend and although we didn't live that far from each other, between work and other responsibilities it had been more difficult to visit lately. The thought of Edward's smile was the last thing on my mind before I dozed off.

A couple of hours later the phone rang again, my good mood from earlier vanished as I woke up for the second time that night.

"Edward, I swear to God, I will kill you with my bare hands when you get here."

"Bella?" A soft and painfully sad voice replied on the other end. I shot up in bed immediately, sitting upright against the headboard. Something was wrong, and right then and there, I knew.

"Alice, what's wrong?" My heart started racing anticipating her words.

"It's Edward…" I could sense the tears she was crying. "He, he… there was an accident. And… He, he's dead, Bella. He's dead!"

I couldn't breathe, my eyes instantly watering while I heard staggered breathing and sobs over the phone. _It couldn't be, no, not Edward._ Tears ran down my face for what felt like hours. I didn't know what to say. I don't think there was anything I _could_ say. Once she calmed down, Alice explained that Edward's car had been hit head on by a track on the highway, he had passed instantly. She had already been over to recognize the body. _Oh, Alice, no!_ I could picture my friend's sweet face looking over her brother's lifeless body and the already present aching in my heart got worse. No one should have to go through that.

The body would be transported back to Forks where the whole family would meet. I told Alice I loved her before releasing the phone and, before I knew it, I was packing. By 6 am my bags were done, my plane ticket booked. I called my office from the airport and said there had been a death in the family and I would be away for at least a few days. It wasn't a lie, for the past decade they had been my family, my unconditionally loving family. And now I had lost one of them.

I finally broke down entirely in the airport bathroom minutes before boarding the plane. I was thankful no one was around as I started breathing heavily, shaking with incontrollable sobs, refusing to come to terms with this reality.

Once in the plane, I started thinking back to when we met, to those happy days we shared together as teenagers never thinking, never knowing that this day would come much too soon.

**10 years ago**

I had been 17 when I moved back to Forks, well, moved back may be stretching it a little. My parents had met 18 years ago, falling madly in love and hastily getting married 3 months later. My mother still gives me the creeps with the story about how I was conceived on their wedding night, trying to sound all romantic. The marriage didn't last long, but it wasn't one of those ugly divorces full of fights and pain. They were just too different and they realized it a little too late. I was one when my mother moved us to Arizona, so I didn't really spend that much time living in Forks. I did spend every summer there with my dad after the divorce and, when my mother remarried and decided to travel the world with her new husband, Phil, I decided moving in with Charlie was the right thing to do. My mother tried to convince me we could make it work, I could travel with them and be homeschooled. But I was stubborn and knew my mother and Phil deserved to have some time to themselves.

I didn't particularly like the town with its depressing weather, but I didn't have any real friends back in Phoenix I would actually miss, so it wasn't that difficult of a move. Charlie was happy about my decision, although he did question my judgment.

I arrived a month after classes had started. I already dreaded the first day of school, not to mention somewhere completely new where all eyes would be on me, the daughter of the Chief of Police, so adding the fact that I was coming in late in the semester just made matters all the more unsettling.

Dad dropped me off in his cruiser to add to my dread. I really needed to get my own car. I could feel all stares on me when I exited the car after Charlie wished me a good first day. I started walking towards the school doors and, once Charlie drove off, this petite pixie-like girl, with short black hair, blue eyes and a huge grin plastered on her face, suddenly appeared in front of me, obstructing my path.

"Hi, I'm Alice. I'm your new best friend," she said without hesitation.

I just blinked and stared, not understanding what was going on in the slightest.

Before I knew it she was holding my hand and dragging me away to a group of four people who were standing next to a silver Volvo and somehow new it would be futile to fight her.

When we finally stopped she spoke again directing her words to the group of people in front of us before turning again back to me. "Guys, this is Bella. Bella, this is my Jasper." A thin but muscular brown headed boy with deep blue eyes stepped forward to shake my hand that had finally been released from Alice's grip. I uttered a shy "Hello", still not sure what exactly was going on when he said: "You'll have to excuse Alice, she gets a little carried away sometimes when she's overly excited about something. But I assure you she's harmless," his soft smiled calmed me somewhat before he added an "Almost" with a light chuckle.

"Enough from you, Jas," Alice shoved him off to move on to the next person. "This is Rosalie." I was suddenly facing a blonde goddess with perfect curves and light green eyes. I think my eyes might have bulged out of my head a little as I shook her hand, slightly intimidated by her. Her unexpected sweet smile as she greeted me eased my eyes back to normal.

"And this is my brother Emmett." I was now looking at the most humongous human being I had been this close to, all pure muscle towering over me. If it wasn't for his playful smile and cute dimples I would have run across the parking lot shouting for help and looking for cover.

"Hey, newbie," he said winking causing Rosalie to elbow him in the ribs. _Got it, off limits._

"And finally, my annoying brother, Edward." I diverted my gaze once again to find two deep green eyes looking back at me. As I shook his hand I knew that I would never forget this beautiful bronze haired boy. And as we all made our way into the building, I knew I was stuck with this bunch for life. And that thought brought the widest smile to my face.

**A/N: So… what did you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts, good, bad, in between.**

**I know most people expect a Twilight story with a happy "Edward and Bella fall madly in love" ending (I know I do, hehe) and this is not exactly it. It will have its up and downs and to me the ending will not be sad one, but there are no vampires to save the day and bring Edward back to life. I still hope you are able to enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.**

**I'm hoping to be able to update ever two weeks (Ideally it would be weekly but I don't think school and work will allow, although you never know…). **

**Write you again soon! ;)**


	2. Open Your Eyes

**A/N: Almost a week later than intended, I seem to have a problem with goal keeping. Worst thing is I was dead set on actually publishing this early. I won't make excuses, I suck.**

**It was hard to write this chapter, I still don't quite like it, particularly the second part. I tried to force some dialogue into it but most of it feels off. We don't get much action in this one, but there's context needed for the rest of the story.**

**The song for this chapter is the title one, Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol.**

* * *

**9 years ago**

You would think being a cop's daughter would prepare you for a thing like this. But in a small town like Forks where nothing happens, where the worst crime of the century was actually a hunting accident, I went to bed feeling pretty certain that there would be no knocks on my door during one of Charlie's night shifts. I was wrong.

The officers at my door said a couple of bank robbers where on the run after a big heist and decided to drive through town. That's when they run into Charlie. He pulled them over due to a broken headlight. Cliché, I know. The officers' guess was that he recognized them from the news and went to grab his gun. That's when they shot him. Two bullets to the chest; he bled out before anyone knew what happened.

It was the summer before college, supposed to be full of quality time with family and friends, doing everything we loved one last time, enjoying our freedom before reality hit us. I guess reality decided to make a surprise check.

Looking back, it was the summer I lost an irreplaceable member of my family and realised I had gained seven others.

I wouldn't eat, wouldn't speak. I went through the motions but nothing more. I remember crying myself to sleep the night he passed and waking up the next morning to a shell of a person reflected in the mirror. It took five days for his body to be released due to the ongoing investigation and the efficiency of across county staff. Each of them I woke, I dressed, I went downstairs, turned on the TV and sat on my side of the couch, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Each of them, seven people came and went from the house, never leaving me alone. They brought food, hugs, words of wisdom, words of love, words of encouragement; they tried to get me to go out, to eat, to live, to no avail.

Esme would try to coax me to eat something, Carlisle would give me talks, Emmett would tell me silly jokes, Alice soothingly combed my hair, Rosalie painted my nails, Edwards sat and watched TV with me and Jasper simply stared, full of understanding.

My mother arrived on that fifth day just in time for the funeral; she had been half across the globe when she found out. She took over then, again to no avail.

It didn't rain like in the movies on the day of the funeral. Funnily enough, the sun was shining through clear skies in nearly always gloomy forks. There was a high attendance, though. Pretty much the whole town was there, shedding tears and whispering words of comfort. I only stood and nodded. I don't think I would have made it home if Carlisle hadn't led me away from the cemetery with his hand on my back.

The days that followed are just a blur.

An average Joe would call my mother heartless for leaving after ten days, but she had her own life to get back to and in the end I think it was for the best. Esme was actually the one to convince her to go, saying that they would take care of me and call if she was needed. The spare room at the Cullen's residence I had made my own many times before became purposefully mine. I didn't have the energy to fight when Esme insisted on it. I couldn't be staying on my own in that house with all those memories, all those ghosts, she wouldn't have it.

I think the day after I moved was the day I finally woke up.

I opened my eyes to a familiar room that wasn't my own and something stirred in me. And I finally allowed myself to weep after days of just feeling numb. I heard the door open a while later and a strong pair of arms held me while I cried and sobbed until there was nothing else, until I was empty.

I woke up hours later surrounded by foreign warmth that I welcomed, and I finally realised I wasn't all alone.

The next morning, I stepped into the kitchen for breakfast and was met with five pairs of relieved yet wary eyes. I sat down to a plate that was already set waiting for me and, when I finished eating, I said thank you with tear filled eyes.

Edward spent the rest of the summer sleeping in my room, holding me. I needed him there and he just knew, a silent understanding and something that was never spoken of again.

My best friend, my beacon, my one constant.

* * *

**Today**

I was driven through familiar streets and roads, through countless memories of friendship. They all hurt now. I ached all over.

Minutes later I was standing in front of a house I knew so well, but I it somehow felt empty to me, void.

I let myself in and after wondering around for a bit, found Esme in her room, sitting on the edge of her bed. I understood right then how she felt seeing me when Charlie died, it was heart breaking. We didn't speak, I just sat beside her and held her, soothingly brushing my fingers through her hair.

Sometime later I heard muffled voices downstairs and went in search of them after leaving Esme to rest.

I met Jasper and Rosalie in the kitchen and I hugged each of them in turn, holding on for dear life.

"Carlisle, Alice and Emmet are at the funeral home working out the details for the service tomorrow," Jasper said to my inquisitive face, always knowing.

"They left Esme on her own..." I stated with a questioning tone.

"She was... she was supposed to be at the garden centre, she said she'd prefer to be left picking out flowers and they were going to pick her up on their way back," he replied surprised.

"I'm guessing she found her own way back. She's resting now."

And then Jasper's phone buzz, a panicked Alice at the other end of the line.

"She's here, she's fine. Bella arrived a while ago and found her in her room."

"Breathe, baby. She's fine."

"Ok. I'll see you in a bit. I love you."

Jasper sighed as he put his phone away and rubbed his eyes.

The look on his and Rosalie's eyes matched mine. _Too much. Too soon._

* * *

I hugged each Cullen in turn when they came home. I was trying to make _them_ feel better, because every time my arms wrapped around them I closed my eyes and hoped that once they opened it would be Edward on the receiving end, and, each time it wasn't, it hit me all over again.

There were not many words spoken over the next few days, and those that were were only whispers. I guess we were all too afraid that if we said anything to disturb the silence we would break down, fall to pieces on the spot. And maybe we were right.

I cooked, cleaned, shopped for groceries. Anything to keep my mind occupied while the rest found comfort in each other or in solitude.

In _his_ funeral it did rain. A sea of black umbrellas surrounded a wooden casket lowered into the ground. And this time there were seven ghosts, all standing still, nodding when kind words were spoken, completely numb to the world.

After that, Esme would spend her days in her room. Carlisle in the hospital or his study. Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rose in their respective old bedrooms. I cooked, I cleaned, I shopped.

The Cullen and Hale children finally came out of hiding three days later and, as we all sat around the kitchen table, for the first time in days silence was broken, by me.

"We need to talk to your parents..."

"Agreed," said Jasper.

Not another word was said, and the next day we forced Esme and Carlisle into the living room and talked for the longest time without a response. They couldn't cope. And they shouldn't have to. None of us should.

On the fifth day, the skies started clearing. The sun shone bright and I knew just what to do.

* * *

**A/N: So... what did you think? Me loves reviews of any kind!**

**Any thoughts on what Bella will do?**

**I will try to publish next chapter sometime next week since after that I have an unkind essay to write. Egg me on and push me about to force me to keep my word.**


	3. The Meadow

**A/N: So... took me a while longer *hides under bed*. This one is more exciting that last chapter at least, so hopefully it'll be more enjoyable.**

**The soundtrack for today's episode is ****_Here Without You_**** by 3 Doors Down and ****_Somewhere Only We Know_**** by Keane.**

**See you on the other side!**

* * *

**10 years ago**

"Let's get out of here," Edward whispered with a pained look on his face.

"I thought you'd never ask," I replied, relieved.

We had been sitting on the couch for the last 30 minutes being utterly uncomfortable. The idea had been for the six of us to watch a movie together after Sunday lunch. The film was picked, popcorn was made, cushions strewn on the living room floor. However, 20 minutes into E.T. the four lovebirds in the house decided it would be more entertaining and not at all sickening to the remaining two people in the group for them to start making out and even groping, yes, I've said it, groping each other.

At first Edward and I just laughed quietly and made fun of the situation, but when we realized it was not just a few minutes of kissing action and the situation was getting out of control we started fidgeting in our seats, not being able to follow the plot on the screen in front of us.

Five minutes later we were in Edward's car and shortly after on the road, far, far away from the scarring images.

"Anywhere in mind?" Edward asked me.

"Not really, just away from the dry humping people." I shuddered at the memory.

"Please don't ever refer to my siblings like that again, it brings horrible pictures to my mind, Bella."

"Won't happen again. Unless you have it coming." I laughed and then smiled wickedly.

Edward shook his head and kept driving. He had the bad habit of messing with me and there were very few things I could do to get back at him, adding one to the list was surely a great accomplishment.

After a few minutes I got curious.

"So... where are you taking us?"

"You'll see," he said smiling.

I fidgeted in my seat until twenty minutes later we stopped on the side of the road. I don't like surprises.

"Am I going to be found dead in the woods tomorrow?"

Edward chuckled and exited the car without a reply. I thought it was a completely fair question considering we had met just a few weeks ago_._

He started walking towards the woods that began at the side of the road and I followed him through the trees, constantly tripping on roots and getting shallow cuts from branches.

"Seriously, where are we going, Edward? You should know better than to bring me to this death trap."

"Patience, Bella, patience."

I huffed but continued to follow until the trees dimmed, and then, I stopped in my tracks to admire the view before me. I could see tall grass all around, half covered in small white and purple flowers, with the sun shining through. It was stunning.

"Wow." I looked around me mesmerized as Edward walked towards the middle of the meadow and laid down. He closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying the sun on his face. I followed shortly after.

"How did you find this place?"

"Well, about a year ago, on a day not unlike this one, I decided I had enough of shameless public displays of affection and decided to go for a drive. After a while I stopped and decided some fresh air would suit me and, eventually, I made it here. It took me over an hour the first time and two hours to get back. A few weeks later I cut it down to a third of the time."

I smiled and, when I turned to face him, I found him staring back at me.

"It's beautiful."

"I know."

We laid there silently enjoying our surroundings. I loved this about my relationship with Edward, our silences were never awkward, there was no need for small talk. Our friendship came easy.

An hour later the skies decided we'd had enough down time and before we knew it we were running back through the woods, soaking wet, cursing our luck. I think it was the first time Edward let water anywhere near the inside of his precious silver Volvo, and he was definitely not happy about it.

The meadow became our place. Our hiding spot from the world. Over the years to come we spent whole days in the meadow, chatting away about ourselves, our lives, goofing around. No matter how long we spent without seeing each other, we fell back into the same as we were back then each time we went back. And no visit home could ever be completed without it.

* * *

**Today**

I borrowed Emmett's jeep and drove.

Even though every time we went there I followed Edward's lead and I swore I could never find it on my own, my feet seemed to know the way by heart. Before long I felt the soft breeze on my face and finally sat on the overgrown grass. I closed my eyes and let the tears silently stream down my cheeks.

Despite, or maybe because, all of the memories, I found peace in this place. Here, it was like Edward was with me, like he had never gone. I could hear his soft laughter as I tripped on the same roots every time, I could see him smile as he chatted animatedly about the new piece he was working on. The time he told me would be going away for a year abroad to do his Master's like he felt guilty for leaving me behind. The time he complained about the three horrible dates Alice had set him up for because he "had been single for far too long and needed to get out more before he kept bringing everyone down with his gloominess". The broad smile on his face five months ago as I told him if things went well I might be moving to New York next year.

Before I knew it the sun was setting and it was time to get up and made my way back _home_.

The day after we talked to Carlisle and Esme, the shipment with Edward's thing arrived from New York and that seemed to break the spell. Esme started cleaning and cooking herself, keeping herself busy. I think it was mostly to avoid looking into boxes and boxes of painful reminders of what she had lost. I, on the other hand, offered to go through all of his belongings, hoping for something else to hold on to.

Every item brought bittersweet memories. I went through piles of books, clothes, CDs, DVDs... The copy of "Pride and Prejudice" I had gotten Edward for his birthday in hopes he would finally read it and stop making fun of my Jane Austen obsession. The t-shirt he had finally gotten back after I stole it one summer claiming it was super cosy to sleep in. The DVD he made compiling all our funny recorded moments together as a Christmas present for the whole family a couple of years back. But those memories I expected. When I reached into a box and picked up Edward's journal, on the other hand, nothing could prepare me for what lay inside it.

* * *

**A/N: Cliff-hanger, anyone? Sorry, but I needed to get some thrill going here. And it all gets worse when I tell you there will be no updates until next year (I promise it'll be worth it, though). I'm going home for the holidays and will be spending most of my time with my newborn nephew, hope you can understand. If not let me know and I'll send you a picture and you'll see why I can't resist. :)**

**I better stop rambling.**

**What did you think? Hate it? Love it? Please leave me your thoughts in the form of a review, they keep me going! Thank you to all of you who are following and have me or the story on favourite. Every time I get a FanFiction email, it makes me smile. And smiling writers are the best kind. ;)**


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